The night folds in

we get bigger

and mistakes are in the past

we sat out on our destiny

walking the miles in search for our fate!

Now

you are on this road

with feelings you cant describe

happiness

broken dreams

romance

broken hearts

and failure

you feel like you should turn back

from this blazing fire of life,

that is over taking your judgement

you keep pushing threw the firy heat

but

then come to a dead end

you soon find yourself crying

tears for warmth and love

but

you find your way threw

by passions of your destiny

Keep trying
I know its hard
and you keep on crying
but
just hold on
as tightly as you can
take it one day at a time
i understand
that right now
you're scared your going to fail
worried you want make it
i look at you
and i can feel
your feeling fragile
like one touch could break you
and your tired of doing your best
in everything you do
you just want to sleep the next few months away
leaving all your problems to another day
will only make them worse
you know that
and it hurts
because
you feel your life is not yours
you arent free theres so much to do
and you feel that you cant do this
just keep trying
and you'll make progress
get what you want and need
keep trying
and you will succeed

When you need me
and i cant literally be there with you
there for you
i hope you know
that my thoughts are with you
my dreams are about you
my love is wrapped around you
and my heart is right beside you

For:Tony

When you need me
and i cant literally be there with you
there for you
i hope you know
that my thoughts are with you
my dreams are about you
my love is wrapped around you
and my heart is right beside you

For:Tony

Down the road,
take the object
and push it real deep,
feel the release of your self control,
im not dead,
i must be doing it wrong.
The rope was tied real tight,
and my feet were planted on the edge of my balcony!
So,
I jumped off.
Like a pencil
falling off a desk,
I still havent died,
I must be doing it wrong.
Collect bottels of random pills.
Pop them in untill your numb and cant feel.
Three bottles lay empty on the ground!
Yet,
I feel everything.
I must be doing it wrong.
Fill the tub
with nice warm water.
Plug the toaster into the wall.
Push it off the edge into the tub.
It fell.
But,
it came unplugged
go figure.
I must be doing it wrong.
Final try,
take tubbing
and stick it in the window.
turn the car on a seal everything
how come everytime i try i fail?
Turn the car off.
It just isnt my turn to die.

Dark Beauty,
I lend you my ear.
Whisper your secrets,
banish my fears.
Dark angel,
hold me close.
Keep me near your heart,
allow me to hear.
I know you are there
I long for your kiss,
I long for your caress
I can not describe
the feelings i feel
when your hands
are on my skin.
Its heaven
and its hell.
Nows your hour to shine,
Now that its the night,
This night was made for lovers.
that is you and I
together we will discover,
the secrets the night holds
we will unlock the night,
and our love
your mistress beckons you
your lover calls your name
I long for you always
and always this way it will remain
I Love You Always
that will never change.

To Tony!

Im going to tear down this house,
rip it apart.
ill no longer hide behind a pile of bricks
im going to tell you my story
pain
recovery
pain
recovery
pain
feed you all the details
as i set the debris on fire
a history including
drugs
cutting
lose
low self esteem
the media
the heat presses against my will
undying strenght
surviving hope
dreams for something better
the smoke goes up
and blurs the horizon
blurs my future
the unknown
filled with uncertainty.
doubt, questions.
the smell of burning
lies,
thruths,
tears,
and hidden beauty.
The smell of buring ruins
the passes pushes me over
a few steps to the right
pushes me to emptiness.
The grass is untouched.
Innocent.
My feet violating the green
The willow will be my new shelter.
Beneath its branches you can find me.
With no walls to hide behind
only a roof to shelter.

Fear can kill a man
or give him life
if you run at it as no joy
just pain and horror
but imbrasing fear
can cause thrills
and death
fear is what we make of it
so will you play with death?
in the slightest
or dealest ways?
or will you run and hide?

Shadow closing in
lights becoming dim
monsters move around me
this house is full of fear
fighting cynical thoughts
screaming out pain in another language
its like the devil has cusumed my soul
and i want him out
crying bloody cries
red water gargels in my throat
im dying in side
bleeding
singing my death filled notes
as i wander through the dark halls
a light shines a head
of my angel--
my guiding star
with his dirty clothing
and hollow face
but still his eyes shine
a calming blue
and everthing is better
once more
he holds out his arms
holds me
and tells me ill be ok
and i sigh with relief
has he heals me
my angel